5 Steps for How To Deal with Difficult People
Every single day I wake up and remind myself to stay present, work towards accomplishing goals, and be positive (because this life is nothing but extraordinary right?). But, I have a confession to make. There are two people in my life that I encounter five out of the seven days of the week. They are the worst kind of people: degrading, unappreciative, condescending, rude, unprofessional, and just overall miserable. They pull others into their circle to create a huge group of assholes. Assholes that parade around the building, instilling negative energy into any room they set foot in. It's devastating.
Although I do my best to distance myself from this negativity, I find myself getting sucked in. Not in the same way as them. My character is still intact. My state of mind on the other hand not so much. I become negative about their negativity and by the end of the day I feel lazy/gross, rather than fulfilled for putting in a hard day's work.
Every day I allow this to happen, I have failed, and they did not have to do a thing to me. They are them and I am me. Their behavior is only affecting me because I am allowing it to. I am giving them power to influence my mood.
So, how am I going to deal with this? Because lets face it, there will always be difficult people. There is no escaping them. Instead of responding to their nastiness with more nastiness or allowing their nastiness to plant the negative seed within your thoughts we have to do implement some tactics:
1. Remind yourself of your values and be mindful of yourself. Hold yourself to a higher standard. Just because they are acting this way does not mean you should stoop to their level.
2. Remind yourself that their attitude/words probably have nothing to do with you. It is more than likely about them.
3. Do not focus so much attention on HOW they say things; what is the MESSAGE they are trying to get across that's hidden below all of the nonsense.
4. Understand that nothing you say is going to change them.
5. Be empathetic. Remind yourself that each and every one of us is dealing with unique issues or circumstances. Trauma and experiences have a way of affecting the way we treat ourselves and others.
I understand it is extremely laborious to deal with difficult people. Try to remember them as a lesson. They show you exactly who you do not want to be.